A kid asked the priest, "Father, what is your pastime?" The priest tapped the kid's shoulder and replied, "Nun, my child, nun". by Anon

An Arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint. "Your name plz" "Abdul Aziz" "Sex?" "Six times a week!!" "No, no, I mean male or female!" "Doesn't matter, sometimes camel" by Anon

Teacher : What do you want to become? Lil Johnny : Doctor!! Teacher : Why? Lil Johnny : 'Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it. by Anon

Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible." by Anon

In a job interview for policemen the applicants are shown a profile picture of a man, and the interviewer says, "The job that you're applying for requires powers of observation. Make one observation about this man." The first applicant enters and says, "This man has just one ear." "Get out!!" screams the interviewer. The second applicant enters and says, "This man has one ear." "Get out!!" screams the interviewer again. Then the third applicant gets up to go in for his interview. The first two guys are out there and they tell him, "The guy that's giving the interview doesn't like to hear that the man in the picture has one ear." "Thanks for the tip" says the third applicant. So the third applicant enters, stares at the picture for a while and finally he says, "This man wears contact lenses." The interviewer is impressed and says, "Excellent observation. Tell me, how could you tell?" So the guy says, "Well, this man has just one ear, how could he wear glasses?" by Anon

A Sardar, a German and an American got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain. The American was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the American was also led away whimpering loudly. The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. "And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked. Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the American to my back" !!! KHABARDAR KISINE AB SE SARDAR KA MAZAAK UDAAYA TO !!! by HE HE HE

Village of India, one masterji is teaching the 'krishnajanma' part of Mahabharat Katha to class 6 students. Masterji: 'Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki behind the bars. First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning... Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak Third one is born...' Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous n confused)! 'Ramu bete, whole india does not have doubt in mahabharata then how come u have one?' Ramu: Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ? Masterji fainted.....no answer..... by Doubts

The boy reported for her university final examination that consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet "Yes" for Heads and "No" for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. The blonde says, " I finished the exam in half an hour, but I'm rechecking my answers." by FINAL EXAM - The Most Hilarious One

A girl was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" by THE VACUUM

A police officer stops a girl for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!" by SPEEDING TICKET